He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
