Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
