I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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