my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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