I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
