Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
