well you can't waste a boner
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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