Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
