How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
