ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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