You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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