Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Actions speak louder than pants.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
