I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
