He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Randomize
