i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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