There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
