doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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