My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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