I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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