I am puke
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
