I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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