is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
