You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
