DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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