I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I need a beard to bite.
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