I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
