Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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