just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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