so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Vodka?
Forever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
