I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize