Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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