what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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