Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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