The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
