I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize