Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
