PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
