So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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