i was born a porn star she said
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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