remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
