you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
