It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
