I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
