you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
