You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
