Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he puts the penis in happiness.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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