Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
