hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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