Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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