my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
