I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
