Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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