i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
