as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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