Im at strip club and am horny
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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