so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
