Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Randomize