she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
