We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
