would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
