I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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