we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This beer is not sobering me up at all
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
