Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
