Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
