I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
