were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
