Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
