The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize